Showing posts with label he. Show all posts
Showing posts with label he. Show all posts

Mar 9, 2010

Pluto Goofy and more..


Long time since I posted something, deliberately taking a break. But will come back soon, to share my world to my blog. But this one is not from me, thou it is very close to my heart, penned down by my best friend, but I am publishing it without his knowledge. I found it very sweet, a day taken from his dream, and am closely involved in it too! Cheers to his first write up!

It was 3 in the morning when I reached back. After a hectic day in the office, only thing that gave me smile was the bunch of cigars which a friend of mine gifted. I loved to smoke one after all those years of smoking ban put up by my wife. When I entered my bedroom the only thing in my mind was to have a sound sleep. I didn’t even bother to change my faded Levis. I searched for space over the bed in the dim light when I found the usual bunch of soft toys lying so peacefully in my space. Without bothering my wife who was in her usual trousers and some light shaded camisole, I took them one by one and kept in a safe place on the bedside furnishing. Stretching out one last time I made myself comfortable in my part of the bed. I felt like all those pounds that piled up in my head jus went out through my legs. While comforting myself in the thick woollen blanket I jus ensured that the soft toys are not on the floor coz I didn’t wanna have a scary morning. My wife took care of them a lot. I seriously believed that after having the baby girl, her craze over those soft lifeless creatures would die out. It never happened. They remained to be there in her world with the same authority and it still remained to be her favourite birthday presents. It used to help me saving some part of my time and when it comes to the big issue of gifts. I still had a few problems of avoiding repetitions and choosing the apt name for each of them. I found it easy after my girl grew up and started following comics and cartoons. These days i leave the naming part to mom and daughter. but on some lazy evenings, when i roll back mind to those post college memories, i miss the tension that i had finding names for all those smiling toys.


With final glimpse at the bunch i found that somewhere down the line i too had shaped up a relation with them. A relation which i cant exactly name. A derivative of love, may be. All those goodies were witnesses to her smiles and excitements, to the love and passion that me n my wife carried all through the years. Just like everyone we too never bothered to keep them away even in the craziest of nights. They always had that smile. Smile that differed from one to other,but out of happiness. Wonderful they are, because they always smiled and made all who saw them do the same. They just carried a single emotion all throughout their lifespan. Might be that made them life less.
I kept on thinking about all those beautiful memories which had them playing some role till dreams took my mind away.
The next time when we went to the nearby Mall, i just happened to visit the Archies coz of my little brown eyed girl. Our shopping was paused for a while when i found myself so much attracted towards the stack of huggables in the corner. It was a surprise for my little girl and she would have even doubted if her moms birthday was nearing. I just looked into each of their faces while my kiddo started searching for the one she likes. All those faces had different smiles. Some of them had smiles right from the bottom of their hearts, i felt. Some were more of a manufacturing defect coz for me their smiles never had a meaning. All of them carried an emotion that was more on the happier side of feelings. All of them were created to bring smiles. Many of them managed to achieve the target. Some of them failed. I found a strange similarity between the lifeless toys and the living folks in and around me. They never cried unless they were moulded to do the same. But the living folks did cry and made others cry, though the purpose of birth was different. For me the life span of the latter bunch found more meaningful. Might be coz I am one among them.

Apr 28, 2009

Vidai..

Those days I never understood what it was all about.. shaadi ke baad vidai, rona dhona melodrama.. May be all those were nonsense to me.. All that mattered to me was that when you are getting married, when you are entering a phase of happiness, why all this drama for.. All that mattered to me was the love that existed between a couple, the urge to be together, the day both of them wait for..

Today I have different meanings to it.. When am almost there for marriage.. When my name is climbing up the waiting list.. Realisations have struck me.. My perspectives have changed.. I can say it has totally changed in the last 3 months.. May be I needed nothing more than the engagement.. My love has been approved, by parents, by public.. That’s all I wanted.. cos, me and he remain the same, before, now and even afterwards..

Marriage is gonna make a lot of difference, not to the relation between us.. But my relation with others.. I wish I can stop the world from revolving right now, I wish I have a time machine with me.. I wish I can lock and unlock it whenever I want.. I wish these days never end.. These days of togetherness, friends.. and… family too.. And some relations which make no sense to others..

                    image

The promises that nothing will change echoes in my ears and mind, but have to accept, it will change.. the bubbliness in me might fade, the responsibilities and roles of a wife, daughter-in-law will take its place.. I wont be a child in that house.. nobody will pet me in that house.. I wont have a brother there to pamper me.. I wont have a mom to listen to my innocent sweet talks.. I wont be a child there, I will have to become a lady.. On whom they all have expectations, which am bound to fulfil. Only thing which will be familiar there will be his love for me.. Which yeah, would be enough to forget the rest of the world.. But will it be possible for me?

That day my brother had told- you are too small for marriage, are you actually ready for it? This question didn’t sound complicated then, but why is it feeling now... why do I feel like being a baby now? Why do I feel like getting all the love and concern? Do all girls experience this, or am I thinking weird? Why do I have a feeling even am gonna cry that day, after my marriage, for my vidai...

Mar 30, 2009

Tears...



This was written when I was totally low after a quarrel with him. Thought of not posting this, but with your permission dear, Iam.. Something for us to read and laugh later on in life.. :)


Burning I am inside, but still I have a smile on my face..
Will never let you down darling.. perfect couple we will be..
I will hide my tears for that.. may be weep silently..
But in the darkness, the world not watching me..
Leave me alone you said,
But you don’t know dear who is left alone..
In your dreams I live.. and the hopes you gave
You know too the hurdles I faced
Just to be your girl..
Leave me alone you said,
But you don’t know dear who is left alone..
These tears are invaluable my love
Thou you may not know now
Its my heart crying..
Cos its just that which is hurt..
Not me... not me...



Mar 28, 2009

all 4 u..

When you say I love you
I know I love you more..
When you say I miss you
I blush, I like it when you do..
When you say tata everytime
My heart leaps out to say please don’t go
When you hold me in your arms
I am sure its the best place to stay..
When we walk hand in hand
I feel your heart beats, all for me....
When you say I look beautiful
I know,cos am made for u..
When you say I can’t live without you
honey pls know, neither do I..

Mar 19, 2009

Miss those times..



I miss those times.. The times when we used to hang around in the college gallery, when the rest of the college was attending lectures.. Nothing much to talk, enjoying the breeze, the shade, the silence.. When our hearts spoke to each other.. When we realised our own world.. I miss those times.. at the milma booth beside, the countless pazhamporis u bought for me.. pampered me.. I miss those times, when u waited for me to come out of my class, to sit behind you on your bike and drive on the empty roads.. I felt like a princess, happiness of the whole world was mine... I miss those times, the frequent visits to EFC, where we discussed most of our future, where you took me to dreams.. where you showed me how our life will be.. I miss those times.. when we had nothing else in mind, you in mine and me in yours!! I thank the moment, just that one moment, which made me realise that I can be yours.. Forever and ever..



I miss those times when you were my sole company in class.. such a short time and the extent to which we became close.. I poured out to you, the indifference of other people, how strange I felt at times.. My life had changed and only you could accept that.. I miss those times, when you me and he were like a family, the small trips in car with u behind, my dreams with him I shared with you.. you alone.. I miss those times, with you, our project, seminar, labs, assignments, combined studies.. and one day you became the bride and I missed that too!!


I miss those times... when that small hostel room was not actually small for the 4+1 of us! I miss those times when I was the alarm for all of you in the mornings.. when we took shifts in the mornings to use the bathroom, when we shared the mirror, we exchanged our new tops, when I preferred your opinion about my dress to mine. the everyday walk to college together.. I miss those times, when the single cot was enough for two of us, where we lay down and relaxed, chatting..talking.. laughing..I miss those times, when your bag was mine, my shoes were yours.. and earings!! We had plenty in common.. I miss those times.. when dinner time was together, no matter what!.. Your life was mine, the A-Z I knew.. I miss those times.. the study leaves, the chatters, jokes, laughter, movies, combined studies, birthday gifts, songs, orkut.. I miss those times with you all..


I miss those times too.. when u and I were together all the 8 hours of the day.. when we longed to reach the school.. the company of each other we enjoyed the most. when we listened to long boring classes with novels beneath the desks.. I miss those times.. when our innocence was exploring the world outside.. the little secrets we shared.. the small joys too.. I miss those times.. colour dress only on Saturdays, the lunch boxes we exchanged, the stories we wrote in copy-writing books.. I miss those times, when nothing else mattered to us, the world was silly, just we mattered. and our friends..


This post is dedicated to those few people who were very close to me at some point of time.. Times changed, lives changed.. We shed tears in farewell, but the closeness still persists.. I met new people, made new friends, but the moments I shared with you all are irreplaceable.. I will always miss those times..

P.S: the above lines are not applicable for the person in the first para! :)